Paul Blann asked:




There are two emotions, Fear and Love. That is it, just two. All other emotions are symptoms of these two emotions. Hate, Anger, Jealousy, Rage, Compassion, Joy, Happiness, Sadness, you name it they are just symptoms of either a mental state of Fear or Love.

Next time you are angry, stop and really think. What are you afraid of?

Loss

Rejection

Acceptance

The Unknown

Change

Death?

Next time you feel lonely, hurt or sad, think about what is the fear that is causing this state.

Greed is a fear of loss. The fear of losing what one has, causes greed. The accumulation of excess builds a false since of security towards the fear of loss. If one is not afraid of loss then one is in a position to give unconditionally out of a position of Love. Fear, not money, is the root of all evil.

For better or for worse, Fear is the most successful means by which people are motivated. Religions motivate people by the fear of death ( Do you want to go to Heaven or to Hell? ). Companies motivate people with the fear of failure ( how big or small is a raise going to be ) and or loss ( you’re fired ). Wives motivate husbands with the fear of loss ( sexual or worse ). Governments motivate people with the fear of loss of services and protection. Fear is the greatest motivator of all.

Many people are afraid of change even if this change has the possibility of a better life. Fear overrides the emotions and logic and it will in many cases prevent a person from acting in their best interest. This is widely known by authoritarians even if they themselves are not aware of it. They will use the fear of change to motivate and manipulate people into doing what they desire based on the other persons fear. Abusive relationships are all based in fear. Wars are all started from a position of fear. Think about it. If a country is not afraid of something, why would they go to war? There is a fear behind all behavior that is not based in Love.

People are only motivated by two things: avoidance of pain ( Fear ) and pursuit of pleasure ( Love ) and fear of pain is a much more powerful tool in motivating then the possibility of pleasure.

When we all start looking at our emotions and see where they are based, we will gain an internal power that will change our lives and the lives of others. When we know our fears, we can face them and overcome them. When we become aware of our fears as individuals, families, communities, countries and worlds we will gain a power that will transform all. We will no longer be controlled by others through their use of fear

This is the basic lesson of all the great masters.

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Daniel Sitter asked:




What is the greatest fear of man? Is it death? Pain? Poverty? Physical ailments? Loneliness? Surveys tell us that the number one fear among modern people is public speaking, of all things!

What is fear? We all know what it feels like, but what exactly is it? The dictionary defines fear as “A painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil, or the apprehension of impending danger; apprehension; anxiety; solicitude; alarm; dread; to be anxious or solicitous for.” That sounds rather ominous, and it is. Now, what are we going to do about it?

Fear, however, can also be a positive emotion. Fear can also induce an adrenalin rush enabling us to rise to the demands of a particular situation. It could be the “extra” you need to run from the mugger, to sing in front of the crowd, to burst through the defensive line of the opposing team, to ask your boss for a raise and so on.

Fear manifests itself physically, often as a knot in the bottom of our stomach, as that tension headache in the lower region on the back of our skull, as subtle to massive perspiration levels across our bodies or dozens of other physical sensations. Is fear real? Sometimes, it is a result of very real and threatening circumstances, while at other times it is simply the resulting emotions caused by our apprehension and negative expectations concerning a certain activity, event or outcome. They feel the same however. Our bodies react in the same manner whether the fear is real or imagined.

Consider the acronym False Evidence Appearing Real. The letters spell fear, but what is the message? The obvious message is that whether or not the situation is real or imagined, our mind sees it as the same occurrence and our physical reaction is identical. Knowing this, we can now go to work.

Many years ago, Mark Twain said “Do the thing that you fear and the death of fear is certain.” He was as exactly right then as he is for today, as truth never changes. I have found through personal experience that if you are fearful about a certain event or situation, there are steps that you can take to make it more logical and less emotional. In other words, identify the false evidence that is appearing real and you are on your way to reducing that situations’ negative hold on you. Removing or reducing the negative emotion by identifying the false evidence will enable you to have the courage to do the thing that you fear.

For example, assume that you were called upon by your boss to do a three-month research project and present your findings and representations to the board. After you “outwardly and confidently” accept the assignment, your first gut reaction may likely be sheer panic! Right now, you are probably paralyzed with fear and shaken to the core. Where do you go from here? How on earth can you muster the fortitude to proceed?

Let’s break down this project and look at it rationally. These same steps can be used with little modification to address a wide variety of circumstances. For the purposes of this paper, let’s assume that you are quite capable of accumulating the data and extrapolating the results into a written report format and you now have concluded that portion of your assignment. What next?

1. Relax. Take a deep breath, hold for a 4 second count and exhale slowly. Repeat 4 times.

2. Close your eyes. Know that God gave you ample ability to do this. Be thankful.

3. On a blank sheet of paper, draw a line down the center so that you now have two columns.

4. Label column one as Positives and column two as Negatives.

5. Identify your negative emotions and write each one in the Negatives column. Write in detail as necessary. Clearly identify each feeling that you have relative to the assignment.

6. In the Positives column, write your strengths. Include your positive emotions. Examples: Do you have a pleasant voice? Is your work often complimented? Do people like you?

7. What are the likely outcomes from the assignment? Will you be promoted when you deliver your presentation? Will you receive a 20% salary increase? Will you literally die a horrid death if you deliver a poor presentation? Will they “boo” and heckle you in the boardroom? Be realistic. Examine the facts. What is the evidence supporting each possible outcome?

8. Identify the False Evidence Appearing Real. Does it look as threatening to you now in light of your recent analysis?

9. Study your audience. What do you know about each board member? Remember, they are also human beings just like you. They probably value their health and families too, just like you do. What types of presentations are they used to. What do they favor? Each board member’s personal assistant can most likely answer these questions for you.

10. Plan your presentation. Make an outline using your expected time allotment. Determine which presentation tools, if any, that you will utilize. Do you need a drawing pad, a projector, a laptop or any other aid? Plan for all contingencies.

11. Rehearse your presentation several times until you are comfortable with it. Remember to do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain. Rehearse again.

12. Remember, especially just before your actual presentation, that you and only you are now the expert on this particular subject within the confines of the boardroom. Be confident.

Remember what that famous 1960′s-70′s philosopher, “Broadway” Joe Namath, had to say in one of his commercials; “Look sharp, feel sharp… Be sharp.” Broadway Joe understood how to advance in the face or fear or adversity. He must have read Mark Twain.

These principles, altered slightly to fit any given situation, will always take the sting out of fear. “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” That is absolute truth that does not change with the passage of time.

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Margie Warrell asked:




Two weeks ago I said yes to a morning at trapeze school. Naively as it turned out. It was absolutely terrifying! But I jumped anyway. Five times in all. And while I wouldn’t race back to do it again, I’m glad I did it. Because hanging upside down 23 feet above the net (though if felt like 1,000 feet!), I knew I was well and truly alive. To me that is what life is ultimately all about – being willing to step (in this case jump) outside our comfort, push the envelope of possibility and live in such a way that we know we are “well and truly alive”.

Many people I meet don’t feel “well and truly alive” in at least one area of their life. We human beings are really much more ‘human becomings’ than anything else… always in the process of becoming all that we really want to be – whether in our relationships, our career or business, to stay fit and eat well, to gain mastery of a skill, or to be as productive, generous or influential as we would like.

Earlier this week I asked my Facebook Courage Community what they believed is the #1 factor holding people back in work, love or life. Most replies reflected what we generally know to be true, but are often loathe to admit: that the biggest obstacle to our success and happiness is ourselves. And while it may present in different ways — laziness, procrastination, cynicism, arrogance, recklessness, apathy, despair — at its core is the primal emotion of fear. Fear of failure or looking foolish; fear of rejection and disapproval; fear of not measuring up, of being inadequate, alone or unloved.

While our fears can serve a positive role, they can also trap us in jobs, relationships, habits, and lives of quiet desperation that leave us thirsty for purpose, hungry for depth and disconnected from the unique potential that lies within us. A billion dollar industry of anti-anxiety and anti-depressant drugs speaks for itself. Indeed, countless people live their entire lives trapped in false beliefs, shrouded under a cloud of fear so pervasive that they are not even aware they are trapped, in their own life. Fear has become the new normal.

As someone who is intimately acquainted with the life-sucking force that fear can wield, I am convinced that creating success, however you choose to define it, requires confronting our fears straight on. Fears that keep us from taking chances and making changes; from challenging the status quo; speaking up about that which weighs us down and daring to stand out in the crowd. But to quote Amelia Earhart: “Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace.”

Neuro-scientific research into “brain plasticity” has now proven that when you choose to think new thoughts, repeatedly, and take new actions, repeatedly, those thoughts and actions gradually build new neural pathways in your brain that over time become your default. And so, with persistence, you can gradually build up your “courage muscles” and with it, your self-confidence to do things you would previously have cowered from, your ability to lead, to influence, and to produce amazing results in your life. Over time the action that you would once have cowered from no longer terrifies you and the path of courage becomes easier to take — even if not “easy”. That said, I am not going to jump off the trapeze again. Never ever ever!

With the exception of trapeze school, the best things I’ve ever done in my life have also been the scariest. Time and time again I’ve learned that often the thing we must do more than anything else is that thing that scares us more than anything else. (Oh, one other exception: marrying my husband Andrew — it was one of the best things I’ve done but not scary at all!)

Of course the fears you face are yours alone, as is what inspires you and how you define success. This isn’t about comparisons. It’s simply about being willing to challenge the stories, excuses and beliefs that may be getting in the way of your ‘success’ in whatever area of your life you feel it’s lacking. And it’s about having the courage to step right through the middle of your fears and into whatever actions are calling you forward.

Only by daring to dive deeply into life can we soar to the heights of success we aspire to. As Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing.” Where could you embrace a spirit of adventure that calls you to step out of your comfort zone and step into your life more fully?

Fortune favors the bold! Where is your life waiting on you to bolden up?

fear

Linda Hancock asked:




One of the most damaging and limiting things in life is fear. Every week clients tell me about how they are restricted or stopped by things that they think present more risk than they are willing to confront.

Fear forms the bars of the cages that hold us back. You see, when we are afraid of things, we do not take chances.

Sometimes people have social phobias and are afraid to ask someone who attracts them to go on a date. Usually the person who is afraid is so focussed on his or her own inadequacies that the characteristics and personal assets have to offer are minimized or completely negated.

I have seen people give up many opportunities in relationships, career, or personal growth because of fear. Often people do not want to risk what they have, even if it does not bring pleasure, unless they think that there is a guarantee that the new direction will be better than what they have. Then, when they don’t take a chance, they “beat themselves up” for years, thinking that perhaps they made the wrong choice.

Sometimes people have negative experiences which cause them to take a position on a topic. Children who have been bitten by insects in their youth can carry extreme fears into adulthood. A person who has been robbed can be paranoid that they will have a repeat experience. Those who have had a romantic breakup can swear off dating.

There are occasions when people are afraid of things that have not happened to them. Those who view tornadoes or tsunamis on television might experience vicarious traumatisation and be afraid that this weather pattern will appear in their location even if there is absolutely no chance of this.

One of the best ways to deal with fear is to confront it head on. Write down the fear you have and then identify the worst thing that could happen. Next, decide what options you would have to deal with this. You will likely be surprised at how unrealistic your fear has been and how capable you might be in dealing with it. The Boy Scouts motto is “Be Prepared” and this is good advice for everyone. The more detailed your plans are, the better possibilities you have of dealing with your fears.

I had a friend who was very afraid of driving in Calgary. She was asked to go to a meeting at the University but was planning to say that she wasn’t able to go. I reminded her of what a capable and intelligent person she was and how she had conquered much bigger problems in her life in the past. The friend said “But Calgary is so big and there are so many streets”. I suggested that she would only be driving on one of them at a time.

We began making a plan. First she studied a map and laid out the best route to take. The meeting was to be held on a Monday morning and so we planned for her to travel on Sunday as the area would be less busy and she wouldn’t have the time pressures. She would drive to Calgary, go to the University, find the available parking and then locate the room where the meeting was to be held. Then she would stay in a nearby hotel for the night and feel confident the next morning about how to get to where she needed to be.

How thrilled I was on Sunday evening to receive a telephone call from my friend who was ecstatic about arriving in the University parking lot without any trouble! Fears will grow if you let them but they will also shrink if you confront them.

Think about the things that prevent you from being who you want to be or from going where you want to go. With some planning and a few action steps you will soon be able to experience the freedom that you have desired!

fear

Pamela Thomas asked:




What is fear?

Fear sometimes protects, helping us to avoid danger or pain.

Fear is an obstacle/blockage that keeps us from moving forward.

Fear is a feeling.

Fear is real and valid.

Fear resides in the past and the future.

It is OK to feel fearful, especially when it comes to your own safety and well-being. It is OK to feel fearful about your dreams, about taking risks…feeling fear is a natural human emotion. HOWEVER let me ask you this, if fear is not serving as a protector from danger, should fear be allowed to stand in your way of creating the life you desire and deserve?

For just one moment imagine having the ability to flow, to really move through your day without doubt or fear. Imagine diving into new projects, taking exciting risks, setting dreams into action without the second guessing or the white knuckles. What would that be like? What would that feel like?

Sit with that thought or feeling for a moment. Soak it in, remember it, especially during the times when fear is preventing you from doing something that will serve you in a positive way.

If that does not work for you, feel free to give these additional strategies a try…

Become very present, in the here and the now. (Stop, take a good look around you and engage your five senses. What do you see? What do you hear? Etc.)
Take some deep cleansing breaths. (When we are sitting in fear we forget to really breathe.)
Practice an attitude of gratitude. (Look around you, what do you see that you are grateful for?)
Take stock of the fear (Ask yourself is the fear serving you in a positive or negative way?)

Just remember you deserve to have the life you desire without the fear.

? 2006 – What’s Within U. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction of content allowed, but must contain a link to What’s Within U (www.whatswithinu.com), copyright notice, and author’s name.

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Ray Bertani asked:




What is Fear and how can we manage it?

Fear is something that has been bred into us. At one time it served a very useful purpose and still can today. Fear is our way of protecting us from great bodily harm or a threat to our survival. The unfortunate part is that we have generalized fear to the point that we use it in a way that hinders our growth and possibilities. All too often, fear is used as a reason to not follow through on something. Fear has become our protector from disappointment, not from bodily harm, as was intended. No one is going to be physically hurt or die because a business venture failed, or because he or she got turned down for a date, or even if you lose your job.

Search your past for times when you have not attained your desired outcome. Maybe it was a test that you failed in University, an idea that got shot down by your boss, losing an important client, or even being fired from your job. Did you die? Did you lose a limb? The answer of course is no. In fact, and for the most part we look back at our disappointments with a certain level of fondness. Sometimes we even laugh about them. We’ve all said at one time or another, “I’ll laugh about this later”. Well why wait? Laugh now. Sometimes we even find ourselves in better positions because of our past disappointments. Yet at the time even the mere thought of these types of setbacks paralyze us to the point of inaction. It is natural to feel fear.

That doesn’t mean that you have to give into it. Jack Canfield, co-author of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” likes to say, “Feel the fear, and do it anyway”. Feel the fear, take a deep breath, tell yourself that no bodily harm can come to you as a result of this action, see it for what it is…an opportunity to grow, no matter the result. Acknowledge the fact that your past disappointments have not destroyed you, they have made you stronger. Most importantly, follow through; take the next step toward your goal, whatever it may be. Don’t let an instinct that was intended to protect you from great bodily harm, keep you from getting what you want. Learn to manage your fear and see it for what it is…a survival mechanism. Control it…don’t let it control you.

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Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD asked:




FEAR has more power than any other word in any language. When we examine the word–Fear, there are other words that hitch on for a ride like velcro–Afraid, Anxiety, Panic, Phobia, Anxious, Nervous, Shaky, Fearful, etc.

When you think of the word FEAR, what does it represent to you? There is nothing that one can’t create a fear about. Anxieties or phobias include: insects or snakes; cats or dogs; flying in an airplane; driving a car; driving on highways; driving over bridges or down dark country roads; heights; claustrophobia; doctors and dentists; needles or pills; water or darkness; success and failure; accommodation or confrontation; rejection or abandonment; living or dying and on it goes. The question is: Are we fearful or are we just lacking the education and hands on knowledge for the circumstances.

One of the hardest things in life is conquering one’s fears. Some people live their entire lives in fear avoiding the opportunity to move forward to living a happy life. The thought of being vulnerable and opening up seems greater than the absence of happiness. Those who have had a difficult childhood make the decision early in their lives to not ever be open–i.e. vulnerable. Those who have had their hearts crushed in a relationship sometimes decide to live alone without companionship and love because the pain they went through seems too great, if they are hurt again. Thus, fear made the decision for them.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, nineteenth-century philosopher and poet, said, “Do the thing you are afraid to do, and the death of fear is certain.” Keeping this in mind, ask yourself these questions.

o How do I hold myself back from having what I truly want in life?

o What am I telling myself to continue this fear?

o What old memory is under the surface that triggers the fear?

o What do I truly want?

o What needs to be shifted in order to conquer these fears, anxieties or phobias?

o Where am I today and where do I want to be tomorrow?

As an inspirational and motivational Life Coach, working together one step at a time, and at your pace, we can eliminate and conquer your fears and you can start living the happy life that you were meant to live.

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David Kynan asked:




“It’s costing me $500,000 a year,” He said. “$500,000?” I asked.
That’s an expensive fear, I thought. In the grip of fear, he was leaving money on the table, a lot of money.

Every day I speak to managers, executives and sales personnel about what holds them back from achieving the success they want and earning the incomes they desire. Every day I hear the same thing: Fear. Fear of getting a no, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection and the list goes on. Each day we sell ourselves short because we are to afraid to go out on a limb, to afraid of taking a risk, too afraid of too many things.

As humans we are biologically engineered to feel fear. At times it has been our greatest ally, protecting us from danger and reminding us of our limits. But we have not evolved as quickly as the world around us. The human brain and nervous system were not built for the 21st century and have yet to catch up. Fear is quite useful when you are faced with a grizzly bear or a scorpion, but it’s not quite so useful when you need to give a speech, make a call or ask for the sale.

We feel fear when we believe our safety is threatened, but those things we fear most are rarely a threat to our physical survival. Looking off a balcony, taking a flight and giving a speech are quite safe. Social situations and public speaking pose no danger to your survival. So why does fear touch us all?

Fear is so common because of a fundamental belief about life that is holds many prisoner. What is this belief? The belief that life is dangerous. When we walk through life convinced that it is dangerous, the mind and body react to protect us. But the danger is unreal.

Some would say that fear is instinctive, but there are only two fears we are born with: fear of loud noises and fear of falling. These are part of our wiring and serve to keep us alive. All the rest are learned. You weren’t born with a fear of rejection, fear of failure or fear of heights. If you are held back by fear you can look back through your life to find the source, a past event in which you learned to be afraid. After that event you practiced and practiced that fear until you became an expert. Now you can produce it at will, easily and effortlessly every time you are in that situation.

Without a belief in the danger of a situation, we are calm and collected. No perceived danger, no fear. When we look at life as dangerous, what are we comparing to? Really there was only one time when we were ever truly safe. We lived in a warm little room with our own personal water bed, 24 hour room service, a nice relaxing drum beat in the background and our every need was taken care of. Then we were born. Nothing will ever be as safe as back then!

“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes … most of which have never happened,” said French philosopher Michel Montage. Yet although the object of our fear is often imagined, the fear we feel is very real.

If you label something as dangerous and believe in that danger it will feel dangerous. What is in your mind will shape and colour your behaviour and communication. And all those thoughts give a signal to the amygdala to produce fear-causing chemicals that then spread through the body.

When fear takes us in its grip, it seems there is nothing we can do. But there is a secret to overcoming fear.

Like every human experience, fear has a structure. If you try to understand why you have the fear, you may gain insight, but all the insight in the world won’t free you of fear. When you look at how you do fear, change can begin to take place.

Fear is not something that simply happens to you. Producing the result of fear takes your participation. Fear is a process (the process of fearing), a dynamic mental sequence that can’t happen without your active involvement. Without you, there is no one to play the fear game.

So how do we produce fear? To experience any fear, the first requirement is a vivid imagination. Those who are most skilled at fear imagine an unpleasant event or situation and run a rich, vivid and bright movie of it in their mind. They will often step right inside the movie so they can be the star. The body can’t really tell the difference between what is real or imagined and so the nervous system responds.

When you watch a scary movie, what happens? Your hair stands on end, your eyes open wide and you sit on the edge of your seat. If you didn’t feel any fear, you’d want to watch a different type of movie. When you watch fear movies in your mind, your body responds.

How do you do fear? What do you imagine? What movies do you play? How do you subtitle those movies? What do you say to yourself?

When you watch these movies, the ones in your mind that keep you stuck, how do you know to feel afraid? Why are they fears and not merely thoughts? How do you decide that a situation is dangerous and threatening? What if your mind simply made a mistake?

Since fear is learned, it can be unlearned. With the right approach, one that focuses on how the fear works, the mind can learn to be fearless just as quickly as it learned to fear.

If I were to list what I consider the keys to massive success, fear would not be one of them. If you want to give an amazing speech, imagining the beady eyes of a judgmental audience as you take center stage might not be so helpful. If you want to make the sale but imagine your client saying no, you won’t be very effective. If you want to make a great impression on new people, social anxiety won’t help.

In cases of fear we are paying attention to the stuff of our mind instead of what is going on around us. Besides changing our mental movies we can turn them off so we can be present and attentive to what is going on around us and respond appropriately. Is your life full of terrible misfortunes which never happen?

When we realize that sales, public speaking, and other such events are not dangerous, it becomes difficult to feel fear. Then we stop playing scary movies in our minds and walk around with calm confidence. You have survived up until now and one day it will all be over, but all the fear in the world won’t make a difference.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

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Marilyn Thorpe asked:




“Oh my goodness” my 3 year-old granddaughter, Jazmyn, frequently says when she feels fearful. That ghastly word “Fear” raises its ugly head time and time again! Why is there so much fear among us and what can we do about it particularly when the outcome is crippling and overwhelming?

Intellectually, we all agree that some fear is healthy for our safety and that of our children. However, when the fear becomes engulfing, it limits us from taking action, steals our joy and robs us from being the type of persons God intended us to be.

Fear is an emotion that traps us into limitation. When filled with fear we become powerless, unable to act and response, un-focused and inactive; the list goes on. One of the best ways to face our fears is to boldly recognize them for what they are; unfounded delusions.

So if you are fearful of failure or success and have avoided taking action, the time has come for you to own up, be honest and get started. Don’t let another week go by putting it off into oblivion. The worst feeling is to wake up one morning twenty years later to realize you are still paralyzed with fear, and life and opportunities have passed you by.

One way to eradicate fear is to find your purpose, what you were created to be, and live accordingly.

The steps below are applicable to your business, profession or personal life. Applying these three steps could be the key to eradicating your fears.

Step 1: Owning the Fear

In order to get the ball rolling, your first move is to take an inventory of your fears and the many ways they impact you. You may start with that one thing that pulls you down, or make you feel less than you are. It could be a discomfort or queasiness you feel when you are in a room of strangers. This can be so daunting for some that they avoid healthy interactions by gravitating to the familiar faces and missing valuable opportunities to connect.

After your analysis, set realistic goals towards overcoming your fear. You may have a buddy who can hold you accountable as you work towards fulfilling those goals. Changing habits can be a difficult for most of us. So be patient; it takes about 21 days for our brains to accept and process changes. Be consistent and practice the new behavior regularly until it becomes a habit. In cases where it is very deeply seeded, professional help may be necessary.

Step 2: Examining your Thoughts

Stop making excuses. I often hear such things as “that’s the way I am” or “I can’t help myself”. None of that is true; we can all help and improve ourselves. Sometimes we need support in doing so. The key is to examine the beliefs that feed our minds. What we think is who we are. By entertaining negative thoughts or un-serving beliefs, we begin to believe them and they serve as barriers that limit us from realizing our full potential. A key component in this battle is to watch out for places where these thoughts are manifested. It could be your job. You’ve let opportunities slipped by because you harbor the belief that you are unfit or unqualified for the promotion. The next step is making the decision to do something about.

Step 3: Taking Action

You are now ready for the final step and that is taking action. Start by seeking out an objective party to make some observations to help you reprogram your thinking process. The good news is we are so wonderfully made in body, mind and spirit, that with a determined mind and concentrated efforts we can turn things around. For years, we may intellectually recognize the presence of a particular fear in our lives, but somehow were unable to take action. Sometimes, it takes a transition or challenge to push us into action. Take control now and don’t wait for a job loss before you start the process of starting your own business. With sound planning, good judgment and professional support, you will be in a good position to take the plunge and watch how things unfold for you. We are never too old to fight the battle of fear.

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Patricia Hubbard asked:




Is fear of your impending divorce situation causing you undue distress? Are you worried about your job safety or some other nagging possibility? Is all this necessary?

Our Priest, Father Jim recently made a joke about fear. He said the letters of the word, FEAR stood for “Forget Everything and Run.”

Oh, if life were that simple.?But wait a minute… maybe it is!

Feelings of fear are really a belief in something that is not yet real! I will repeat that…Feelings of fear are a belief in something that is not yet real!

Yes, our brain says to be afraid of that impending court date or that maybe that abusive spouse will be waiting inside our home for us to return, so they can ravage us one more time.?

Maybe our fear that our teenager will be killed or injured, while they are driving home from a dance or party, replays in our minds.

Sometimes we fear that we will not have enough money to pay the bills for the coming month.

You may be responsible for the bills and you must appear for the court date even though ?you are dreading it, but how you choose to think about all of these is strictly up to you.

It’s your choice, you know! Basically you are mostly responsible for your thoughts. ?

Now, before you come at me with a cane or a bat, let me explain.

Did you ever stop and wonder why you feel a certain way about any given situation? Why do you feel frightened? Is it what you are thinking?

The last time someone delivered flowers to your door, or gave you a gift that you cherish, you no doubt smiled and experienced a delightful joy that someone would do such a kindness to you.?You will probably have grateful thoughts of that person. You are filled with delight and gratefulness fills your thoughts. This is a positive situation, right?

Now let’s examine what was just described. We talked about feelings of kindness, gratefulness, and delight.

At the other end of the spectrum, say your Ex or someone who has been a thorn in your side, just called you and threatened to sue you for some action of yours or possibly something you were not responsible for. What type of feelings would you have now?

Most likely your thoughts are “How dare him/her!” Feelings of anger, defensive emotions, negative revenge creeps into your thoughts. The next few days are spent in that vein of thought. Certainly your thoughts are not of happy feelings.?A cloud of doom and gloom hover over your every thought. The sun seems to have disappeared from your horizon. Concentrating on other subjects seems to be a burden.?All of your energy is focused on how to protect yourself from this supposed threat. Feelings of anger, defense, negativity, fear and gloom dominate your daily mentality.?

Who is responsibility for all this negativity??You maybe?

What are feelings??How do they seem to rule our lives??Where does their power come from??What makes them have the juice to rule? We, ourselves, give reality to the anger or the joy by our thoughts.

When you really look at the word, feelings seem to be empty, not real or solid. They really are an expression of how we are experiencing emotion about a particular problem.

So how do they have so much power over us?… They don’t…if we won’t let them! We really are in control of our thoughts, we just forgot that we have the power over them.. My thought is that we give our power away to FEAR.

Now, you can let fly the brickbats. But I am not afraid because I am right!??

Thoughts that we allow are the generators of our emotions or feelings. If I am afraid, it is because my thoughts say, “Fear this one.” Who has the power to say yea or nay to that fear? I do!?

When you hear of folks talking about positive thinking, this is exactly what they are speaking of, although sometimes, they don’t mention your power. You have the power to fear the outcome or the power to handle it and make a positive decision to cast fear to the devil, where it has originated.

Fear is a belief in something that is not real because it has not happened yet, it just exists in our imagination as a possibility.

As a person who is divorced, nearing divorce, or just become a widowed person, are your fears controlling you?

Are you fearing your impending court date??

Are you fearful about your future alone?

Do financial responsibilities constantly, dance around in your mind??

Are you in a state of panic about your future days alone?

Are you psychic? Can you predict the future? So why are you trying to? Feelings of fear for the future are unfounded, unreal and a waste of your precious time. Fear is a lack of faith in our God to protect us. Fear is a condition of our own creation.?Is that your choice?

Ask yourself are you fearing something real, something you can touch or is it just a figment of your very active imagination?

Giving power to the unreal is your choice. A person of faith will redirect those fearful thoughts to the Lord. They will ask that they have the strength to overcome the negativity that is robbing them of their peace. They will learn to recognize the difference between “possibilities and realities.”

One does not need to run from fear, but to face it, challenge it, and know that it cannot have power unless you allow it.

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